
“Even the homophobia bit is not alarming to me,” said Cheves.

(“Look at this dumb twink, he’s so stupid and obsessed with dick he’ll do whatever I tell him to, I’m the alpha.”) And I guess it is homophobic because when you remove the intensity and power trip of being the straight male in this scenario, I just have no interest in guys at all.

I also worry this comes from a homophobic place. But on some level, this all seems pretty fucked up and I don’t know why I do this and sometimes I’m confused by it. And in all honestly, I feel like I’m doing them a service because a lot of gay guys are looking for that rare, mythical thing-the straight and strict Dom top-and I can play that role. It’s like I’m proving to myself just how straight I am by teasing these gay guys. I actually feel like I’m “earning my heterosexuality” when I do this. I don’t want to harm anyone or live a lie, but I don’t feel queer or bisexual at all. I’ve experimented a few times and have gotten head from a few guys, but I have no interest in dick or fucking one of these dudes. And I always follow the same script: I send my dick pics, I make one of these thicc bottom boys want me, and I tell him to send me a video of him twerking like a stripper for me. The kind of guy where from the right angles you can’t tell the difference between his big ass and a thicc chick’s big ass. It’s always a specific type of bottom gay dude I seek out when I get on Grindr: a very feminine “thicc” guy with a pretty face and physical features begging for a dick. When a gay guy is into me because I look like his straight-masculine-jock dream, it’s a power trip like no other. I’m a 26-year-old masculine straight guy who loves exploiting the fantasies so many gay men have about straight men.
